The following is intended as a narrative of chain of thoughts going through an idle mind....
"As the rains pour outside, as the wind strickes the window with all its might, I sit down on my couch, stuck at home. With nothing to do, nowher to go, I try to glance back at my life. It has been a decent one so far. I have achieced whatever I strived for, yet I have not achieved anything at all. I have seen, felt and heard everything I wanted to, yet I have not seen, felt or heard anything at all.. It is this feeling of numbness, of nothingness, of missing out on all that life has to offer that plagues my soul.... In short, I have no life.
What is life? How can I have one? many say " LOVE IS LIFE!" Maybe thats true!! Maybe your love for someone gives you the urge to live. If that is true, I had a life once, but that life went away with my love... Then my wife came into the picture. She started dictating terms..maybe its her life I am living..Maybe or maybe not!! Maybe I dont understand... maybe I dont know how to enjoy it... maybe this is what life really means!!
Do I have a life? I dont know!! I would love to go out into the rain right now but something is holding me back!! I dont know what it is!! Maybe it is my wife giving me ugly glances, maybe it is the fear, the fear of living according to my free will, maybe it is the maturity, maybe this is my life!
Should I live this life? Am I alive?? I dont know! Maybe I am already dead!! maybe the living dead like me dont deserve a life!! Maybe I deserve to die, to free my wife from the suffering of my existance, to be free!! Maybe this is the only way to get a life!!! Maybe I need to die to get a life!!!"
