the letter

Sitting by the road on an overcast evening, I caught a fleeting glimpse of your dusky face. A face so beautiful that that glimpse was all I needed to know that I needed you, that I wanted you and yet, now that I am so close that I know I have you, now that I can feel your hand waiting for mine, I know, deep down, that what I wanted was not what I needed. Now that I know that you are mine, I don’t crave you. You are just one of my mere possessions; you have lost that magical aura about you which had once made you an angel in my eyes. Maybe it’s time to say goodbye and yet, I can’t do it. I know that all the time I spend with you is just pretence but I can’t force myself to say the last goodbye, to break that final bond between us. How long shall we go on pretending? How far will your closeness to me drive me away? What do I need to do to finally break away? I know you are happy when you feel the touch of my hands on your body and you enjoy the feel of my body against yours but don’t you understand it was the unachievable that interested me and now, now that you are in my grasp, under my control, ready to obey all my orders to the last letter, you have lost the charm that had made me lust for you. You have become normal, like all the others who give themselves up on the false superstition of ‘love’! The time has come that you should know all this and realise that I can’t put up with this act anymore. All I can say is I am sorry, goodbye, may you regain that charm that made you irresistible.